TRON : Legacy plus Glitch Mob equals Movie Boner

This is the coolest of all the TRON : Legacy trailers I've seen and its not even sanctioned by Disney. It's a project between Khameleon808, who did the video editing and the Glitch Mob, whose song "Animus Vox" is featured from their 2010 LP, "Drink the Sea". All video is taken from public videos and trailers so it's legit. Personally, I feel Disney owes all parties involved a check. Either way, I can't wait for this movie to come out. TRON!!!!! (SKYSCREAM)

Mysterious Vapor Trail or Proof of a Fucking Space War?

There's been a lot of speculation as to what the vapor trail left in the skies over California really was. Here is my explanation that I came up with while high on bubble kush hashish:

No other Nations reported a missile landing anywhere on the ground and many who actually witnessed the events take place disregard the explanation that it was an American Military plane. Something took off, from ground level, that left a trail identical to and traveling at speeds more similar to that of a tactical defense mechanism, much like a missile. Use your eyes and look at the footage and I feel that you would agree. Now that missile went somewhere folks. Something was destroyed or thwarted in its attempt to destroy us. Here's where I think it went:

On October 25th of this year, the International Space Station cameras were able to pin point and zoom in on an image that could only be determined as a UFO. Shortly after its discovery, that UFO was gone from range. Narry a fortnight goes by and we, America, launch a missile at an undisclosed target, high in the sky, out of sight. I put these two things together in my brain and only two words come to my mind: FUCKING SPACE WAR!

That's right, World, I am warning you that we are now and most likely in fact have been in a space war for some time now. Do you think we'd go to the moon just to play golf? Fuck no son, that bitch probably has a SAM Site of epic proportions on that fucker. Foreign Nations like France and Mexico have been calling for the United States to come forward in admitting our long-held knowledge of both the existence and immediate presence of alien life that has visited our Planet, multiple times. Do you dig what I'm saying here, man? Something got close and we had to blast-off on those fools!

Is it so crazy to think that we, as humans, are fighting aliens? It's not something the general public would want to know about. But, I'm sure at some point, we've had to throw down with one, before. I mean, what are satellites and the ISS but glorified security cameras, anyway? That's what they are. They do serve many other purposes, but really they act as Galactic surveillance cameras. I'm sure the ISS is armed with some type of defense system that we're not aware of, too. We figured out that we have to protect ourselves from the invading hordes of gold-hungry Nibiruans looking to microwave our whole planet, but the public can never know.

It's why I think the government would go out and say something as ridiculous that the vapor trail was that of a military plane and not a missile. I'm pretty sure a plane would leave a straight line in the sky. That's just me. Fucking Space War, man. Are you ready?

Rubicon is RubiCanceled, says AMC

In today's announcement, AMC said that it was "...not an easy decision, but we were grateful to work with such a phenomenally talented and dedicated team". Really? That wasn't an easy decision for you to cancel Rubicon? REALLY? Let's review the demise of Rubicon from start to finish:

OK! First, in a misguided and downright puzzling move, the network premiered Rubicon's pilot during the series premiere of Breaking Bad, a summer show. The remaining episodes weren't set to air for weeks and for some odd reason, they run the Pilot multiple times before it's full run. Because I'm sure fans will be waiting, at the ready many, many weeks later for the reason that one dude was killed and stuff.

Second, AMC broke a cardinal rule: don't compare your shows to each other. HBO doesn't say shit like, "In Treatment is the next Six Feet Under" or, "Hung is the new Entourage", does it? NO! You know why? Because those shows earned their own followings. Plain and simple it seems braggadocious do say, months before a shows release, that it "is in the same pantheon as 'Mad Men' and 'Breaking Bad' ". That's an actual quote that ran DURING the commercials for the show. Why don't we let the viewers make that decision? Maybe that way the show won't be eaten alive by its very own marketing campaign.

Third, the show literally came off to me like it was supposed to be a big deal. From the very first episodes unrelenting moody feelings and ultra-suspenseful soundtrack, the show felt as though it was presenting itself in a way that said, "This show is a big deal! WHY AREN'T YOU ACTING LIKE IT IS?!". To say it a more crude way, it felt flat, even while all this super-secret stuff was happening on screen.

I guess overall, it just simply fizzled out. Sorry Rubicon fans, put this one on the shelf with John From Cincinnati and Journey Man. It got the one and done.

The Glitch Mob - Beyond Monday

In honor of Tuesday, here is something that, by all means, should blow your fucking minds.

Prop. 19 and legalizing marijuana: What now? - latimes.com

I, as a person looking in on a situation that could have nation-changing potential, was so saddened by the failure of Prop 19. But hope is not lost. This L.A. Times article details why, we as the rebel alliance of stoners, must remain faithful. Even if we want to kill each other, we must not kill the cause or do anything to disrupt its success.
Prop. 19 and legalizing marijuana: What now? - latimes.com

Andy Daly : OH YEAH! THAT GUY! HE'S FUNNY!

Those are the word most people say, after I ask them if they know who Andy Daly is. They'll tilt their heads to the side, like a dog you've just shown a magic trick. They'll think about it for a minute, and then finally I have to say things like, "He is Principal Cutler on 'Eastbound and Down', He was the commentator who stole the film in 'Semi-Pro' and he's also one of the original cast members of 'MAD T.V.' Remember him now?" Once people stop griping about how they didn't care for MAD T.V. (and who did, really?) they go, "OH YEAH! THAT GUY! HE'S FUNNY!". After slapping that person, simply to calm them down and still hold their attention, with the utmost importance, I tell them how much more awesome he really is.

While his on-screen performances in the aforementioned film and T.V. stuff are his bread and butter to the American Public monetarily, Mr. Daly is and has been one of the best improv and long-form stand-up comedians of our generation. I'm not sure I've ever seen Andy do stand-up that wasn't either character based, or the bits were all predicated on something challenging.



See what I mean?

This kind of comedy is what I would describe as "advanced" comedy. The listener has to participate in the act as much as the comedian does, as to not miss his intentions and in the end, the punchline.

He has an album called "Nine Sweaters" and it was released on A Special Thing Records last year. In my humble opinion, it was the best comedy album of the year, although it's not "traditional" stand-up. It's nine long-form bits that Daly does, as a character, all wearing different sweaters. (Guess how many in all). I highly recommend you get on iTunes, Amazon.com, The A Special Thing Records online store, or wherever this album is sold and buy it immediately. I promise it'll sucker punch you with laughter.

Here's one his more famous routines:





WASN'T THAT AWESOME?! Now, GO! Buy this man's cd! Also, you can listen to his episodes of Comedy Death Ray Radio for extensions on these characters and a few new ones, as well.

Bill Maher on John Stewarts FALSE EQUIVALENCY Nov 5, 2010

I was for the Rally For Sanity. I was Pro-Sanity Restoration. But then as the event itself played out, it became more and more clear that the Rally wasn't actually about anything other than preaching passive acceptance. I mean, the Mythbusters made people do the wave? Ozzy? Oh and a few spots of time when Stewart actually said stuff that felt sort of true. But mostly it was passive, useless advice that, to me basically claimed each side has equal examples of polarizing insanity. I wouldn't go as far to call that "shtick" or "hackney", but its just plain not true. This closing statement from Real Time with Bill Maher should be given its own category at the Emmy's, be chosen as the only nominee, and win the award. Twice.

I'm A Comedy Podcaddict and I'm Proud of it

Over the course of the last few years, the staggering amount of growth within the medium of podcasting has given me a new addiction. All together, I think I subscribe to 25 podcasts, mostly all comedy related. If you, like myself, have a job that involves lots of sitting at a desk, if you listen to your iPod while you work out, or you have a long commute to work, I highly suggest you get hip to the dip, A.S.A.-muthafuckin-P.

There are so many to chose from it's ridiculous. I don't want to show preference towards one over the other so I'll just list and briefly describe all of the ones that I would recommend to a first-time podcaster.

1. Comedy Death-Ray Radio : A podcast based on a live show at the UCB Theater in Los Angeles, this podcast is hosted by Alternative Comedy Guru and all around genius, Scott Aukerman. Each week he has a new set of guests and almost always, there is a person who plays a character for the duration of their appearance; i.e. Nick Kroll, James Adomian, Seth Morris, Andy Daly). I'm an avid fan of this podcast and I would find it to be a daunting task to find anything negative to say about it. It's almost 100 percent improv-based, they often feature in studio musical guests, now that they run out of Ear Wolf Studios, and it is a sure-fire guarantee to get you into laughing fits so intense, you'll have to pull over your car off of the highway, just to not kill everyone around you. (Speaking from personal experience, there). It's also the founding podcast of the newly-formed Ear Wolf Podcasting Network.

2. Comedy and Everything Else - Hosted by Jimmy Dore and Stephanie Zamorano, this is one of the longest running podcasts in the history of the medium. Every Monday, a new episode is posted and sometimes, if not all the time, it features a guest who sits in with them for the majority of their show. This is a great podcast for comedy fans who like to hear working comedians discuss the machinations and perspective of a Stand-Up, in regards to how to properly run a venue, how to work a crowd, and basically gives the listeners great tips on how to grow as a comedian. They also discuss topical issues and things that they feel deserve attention in the media and within the comedy community. I highly suggest listening to the entire series of Kyle Cease episodes, including the Matt Besser episode. Personally, this is my favorite podcast to listen to from start to finish, simply because Jimmy is constantly giving great advice to those who want to be comedians, themselves.

3. Doug Loves Movies - Hosted by Doug Benson, this is probably my favorite podcast to listen to while I'm at work. Every week a set of 3 guests and Doug discuss movies, new or otherwise, and a lot of the times, they just riff off of each other about whatever they feel like until Doug remembers to start playing movie-based games. The games they play are relatively simple and yet equally as addictive once you get the hang of them.
One is called "Build A Title" where, either Doug or a guest of his choosing, will name a movie. Then, the other guests have to build on that movie title, using either the first word as the last word in the chain, or the last word as the first word of the new movie in the chain. An example would be: Heat, then Body Heat, that could then be Jennifer's Body Heat, and so on and so forth. His most popular game, by far, is the Leonard Maltin Game. This is essentially a version of "Name that Tune", but using the names of bottom-billed actors instead of notes in sequence. It's a great game to listen to and an even better one if you're, like me, a walking IMDB and end up yelling at my laptop every time a contestant can't come up with the answer. The guests all play for audience members and the winner garners their audience member prizes if they win. The losers get to name a "Shit Head" at the end of the show that Doug announces as the show ends.
It's an immensely fun podcast and I highly recommend it to movie buffs, comedy nerds, and fans of hilarity in general.

4. WTF with Marc Maron - Far and away, this is the best example of a Litmus Test for any first-time podcast listener. If you can handle Marc Maron's brutaly honesty, unrelentingly introspective, and constantly self-deprecating nature, you are ready for the world that is podcasting, on a whole. His neurosis is a metaphor for the current state of the medium itself. Maron, who was previously most famous for his time spent on Air America Radio, started this podcast a little over a year ago and in that time, the show has grown into one of, if not the most popular comedy podcasts on the Internet. Deservedly so, as he always has great guests like Louie C.K. , Janeane Garofalo, and Patton Oswalt, and that's just to name a few. I recommend starting with his episodes with Nick Kroll as El Chupacabra. They'll have you on the floor with laughter. Not to mention, his interview skills are awesome, so his guest interview spots are, by my view, the best in the business.

5. Never Not Funny - The longest running American comedy podcast, Never Not Funny is the brain-child of comedian Jimmy Pardo and producer and entrepreneur, Matt Belknap. It's conversational, party-style, talky podcasting at its best. Every week they bring on guests like Scott Aukerman, Pat Francis, and my personal favorite re-occurring guest, Jon Hamm to help bring more life to each episode. Hamm is shockingly funny, given his uber-serious role on Mad Men and every time he makes an appearance on the show, his rapport with Jimmy Pardo is undeniable. The show is in its 7th season, moving into the 8th and they have 2 versions of the show: one free, twenty minute version, or a paid subscription version which normally runs about 90 minutes. It's worth paying the money, as each episode breaks down to pennies on the dollar and they also give you the option to pay for video of each episode as well.

Yahoo! News Story - Bush: I OK’d waterboarding KSM | The Upshot Yahoo! News

Bush: I OK'd Water-Boarding KSM | The Upshot Yahoo! News

http://news.yahoo.com/s/yblog_upshot/bush-i-okd-water-boarding-ksm

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Birdy Nam Nam - Violons

One of the best live performances this crew has ever given. The ending will have your jaw on the ground.

The Glitch Mob - Drive It Like You Stole It

I damn near broke my neck listening to this today. Get on this like it was free pussy at the Bunny Ranch, Bitches!

[Shared Post] The Phantom Left by Chris Hedges

The Phantom Left by Chris Hedges dandelionsalad | November 1, 2010 at 4:03 AM | Tags: Barack Obama on Dandelion Salad, Chris Hedges on Dandelion Salad, Meet the new boss the same as the old boss, Stewart-Jon, Death of the Liberal Class on Dandelion Salad | Categories: Corporations Really Suck, Culture, Dandelion Salad Featured Writers, Dandelion Salad Posts News Politics and-or Videos 2, Democrats, Entertainment, Politics | URL: http://wp.me/p5qmX-nWV

by Chris Hedges Featured Writer Dandelion Salad Truthdig November 1, 2010 The American left is a phantom. It is conjured up by the right wing to tag Barack Obama as a socialist and used by the liberal class to justify its complacency and lethargy. It diverts attention from corporate power. It perpetuates the myth of [...]

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Califiornia failed itself, yet again.

Yesterday, Prop 19, a proposed legislation that would legalize the growth, cultivation, consumption, and distribution for profit of Marijuana legal, was denied by a 54 to 46 percent vote. In one year alone, the tax revenue of the Marijuana bought and sold in that state alone could be in the billions. In a state where people can't even get their tax returns because the State is actually bankrupt, I thought this sounded like a great idea.

To my knowledge, the only person who actually spread the word about it at all was Comedian Doug Benson with his Pot the Vote Tour. Although that was done throughout the tale end of the summer and the vote wasn't until November 2nd I still commend the man for trying to get something done.

Now here's the rub: Prop 19 lost by a majority vote of 54 percent. 5 percent would have assured outright legalization and yet for some reason, Californian's couldn't make that extra push to get out and really vote it down into a land-slide. I mean, the numbers should have been more like 85 to 15 percent for Prop 19 if the honest, determined voters showed up to actually get the legislation passed. BUT NO! The margin was left so close, for all we know someone could have just BOUGHT the four percent that assured the majority vote. WHY and HOW could the vote have been so close?

It's a downright shame that this happened. I, for one, thought that was in the bag. I thought weed would have been legal, sure thing, easy money. I guess the Law and Order: SVU marathon they were running on the USA network that day really fucked things up, especially considering TNT was running a The Closer marathon concurrently. Yeah, I guess anytime people who can ACROSS THE BOARD AGREE THAT WEED SHOULD BE LEGAL STILL WON'T GET OUT TO VOTE TO MAKE SURE IT ACTUALLY FUCKING HAPPENS! SHAME TO YOU, CALIFORNIA! FUCKING SHAME!

You don't deserve your god damn tax returns.

Earl Sweatshirt - EARL

I had to post this video. I'm a big fan of what these Odd Future, or rather, ODDFUTUREWOLFGANGKILLTHEMALL kids are up to and Earl is my personal favorite in the group, at the moment. Here's the intro track to his album that bears the same name: EARL. You can download it by clicking "EARL" underneath the main header of the website.



I'm really excited to see how the evolution of these kids progress and pan out. That's all I can really say about that.

Bassnectar Tonight at the 9:30 Club OR how you will end up with less cum in your body by the end of the night

If dubstep or grimey electronic music if your thing; if breaking your neck and back to grinding, pulsing, and visceral tones, then tonight is your night, D.C.! The God-King of BOOM himself, Bassnectar is providing the Sonic Architecture for tonight's events at the 9:30 Club in NW Washington.

If you're not hip to the dip, check this out:


Thats just the first song that comes up on the YouTube search. Check this one out, but try not to break your neck:



Or this one, make sure as to not pull your back:





Now, if you can see yourself gyrating to this all night, I suggest you find yourself some crazy, grimey, filthy heads just like your sick-minded self and crew on up to the City tonight. Remember, if you're going to ride dirty, take that shit before going in the club. No one gets caught, tongiht. Right? RIGHT! Oh by the way, if you check the site, tickets are sold out. But don't be a bitch and let that deter you. You'll find a way. Just bring extra lip balm and some Listerine.

This was a question our leader actually had to answer on live television. I hope his opposition enjoys their so-called victory

Zach Galifianakis Smokes Joint on Real Time with Bill Maher: CA Prop 19

If you live in California, today is a BIG day. Prop 19 will either be smashed into compost, or Marijuana will be legal in California, across the board and outright. This is a clip taken from Friday's episode of Real Time with Bill Maher. Zach Galifianakis Smokes a Joint on live television. Whether or not it was in suppport of Prop 19 or purely an impulse he had at the moment is for you the viewer to decide. But I feel it was political. I love that Zach doesn't pass it to Bill, but to the white lady in the pink dress, who merely smells the joint, confirming its authenticity.

Touch My Body (Tuts My Barreh) / Karaoke Fail (English subtitles)

This video is stolen from theMMPodcast.com but I don't care. It will make you belly laugh.

Attendance at Rally For Sanity doubles Glenn Beck's Rally to Restore Honor

I may be doing this to gloat, but I feel mainly I'm doing it because I love the fact more people who were obviously high on either weed or mushrooms or at the very least Peter, Bjorn, and John albums, showed up to make a statement than Glenn Beck's Horde of Hypnotized Honor Restorers.

Horrible Songs Turned Horrible Commercials

The first is an oldie, but a goodie. It's a classic take on the timeless song "Unbelievable" from prolific and under-rated sonic Architects, EMF. What product would fit best for such an upbeat song about a girl worthy of a song? CHEESE CRUMBLES, OF COURSE! Because "Crumbelievable" sounds just like "Unbelievable". There isn't a clash of sound there at all. Not one bit. Also, when the phrase, "Crumbelievable" hits your ear-drums, it doesn't make you want to laugh in Kraft's Marketing department, at all. Not one bit. My favorite part though, is the added rip-off of Michael Buffer's voice that says, "LET'S GET READY TO CRUMBLE!". With what? With laughter at this commercial? Ok, enough talk. BATHE IN IT'S GLORY:



The best is for last: Gloria Estefan blessed the World with "Turn the Beat Around" and as far as I was concerned, Skating Rinks across the World were set for life. No improvements could be made or even needed to be made. That is until I came across what could be the greatest Commercial Rip-Off of any song in the history of the Universe: Turn the Tub Around. It has its own Official Music Video and I am bringing it to you now, in its entirety. Notice how creepy everything about this advertisement is, from the creepy store worker who instantly turned into a gay dancer / Justin Beiber impersonator, to the horrible piston-like dancing the woman does, herself once she is convinced of the fake butter's powers. The chorus to this "song" is so bad I am almost positive they use it as a torture song at Guantanamo Bay. So, without further ado, prepare to either laugh your ass off or run in horror.

Rare Journalism for real Marijuana Activists

This is an article in Sunday's Washington Post Magazine called "Boutique Buds: What underground mom-and-pop growers did while we debated legalization". It breaks down the much theorized THC grading scale, making the comparisons to wineries that much more of a reality. It discusses several "home growers" who have made great strides in not only the science of growing of marijuana, they have also paved the way in establishing a new and fascinating concept: Weed can act as not only a spirit to be consumed for enjoyment, but also a medicine for very specific problems, depending on the strain. Mainly though, it points out that without any kind of governing body to help organize or distribute their product, other than themselves, independent growers silently became pioneers of American Marijuana.

This is all common knowledge to anyone who doesn't use the term, "druggie" when describing someone who smokes weed. But, to most of the Palin, Tea-Party, Toby Keith crowd, Marijuana is still something used to get Black Men to rape their precious White Women. As far as most conservatives know, they still see Dyed-shirt, Hacky-Sacky, Tofu-searing, liberal, hippie, freaks when they hear the words, "Pot", "Weed", "Marijuana" or whatever other word one would use to describe one of nature's most amazing gifts.

If you find yourself reading this article and you discover that you're in the second category, the willfully ignorant, I suggest you head on over to this link and eat yourself some more truth and digest the reality of the situation. (That's a joke for anyone who gets the reference to the fact that in a recent study, eating Marijuana was proven to help cure Chron's Disease)

(Image featured above taken from WashingtonPost.com's article : "Boutique Buds"

Decatur Dope - Baka

If you don't know the name of Atlanta Producer, Baka by now, I am not disappointed in you. Not yet, at least. If you don't know that he has an instrumental LP called Decatur Dope, I'm not disappointed in you about that yet, either. But if you turn away from this website and forget either of those two things, I fear for your humanity.


Baka, life-long Son of the City of Atlanta, more specifically the town of Decatur, is making a lot of heads turn these days. Between producing 90 percent of The Nice Guise self-titled LP, doing tracks for MC's Dillon Mauer, DT of Clan Destined, and other Atlanta-based artists; mending a project with MC Catalyst of the Nice Guise and myself (takes bow), and working out another solo project, the man stays productive. Did I mention he also does an event by that exact phrase? Stay Productive at The 529 in the East Atlanta Village. Check that out as well.


Earlier this year, Baka released an LP entitled, "Decatur Dope". After a solid release locally, the album received praise from many of Atlanta's top Independent Artists. After that though, as some things do, word didn't spread as far as many had hoped.



This is where I come in. I am posting all media available via YouTube and Bandcamp that is currently available to you, the American Public at Large or rather, the handful of insomniacs and dragon chasers who actually read this blog. For starters, here: www.baka.bandcamp.com



When viewing the Bandcamp.com site, you'll notice that the LP isn't free. Listen to Gold Chain Suicide, A.I.D.S., Dope Money, or ANY of the other beats on that Bobby-Brown's-Criminal-Record-In-Length like play-list and tell em it's not worth at LEAST 10.00 bucks. 7 at the very least.


I'm not going to write a review of this album because I truly feel like you most likely have no idea who Baka is and I want you to trust me on this: Buy this album, sight unseen and sound unheard and get squinted with, someone I personally promise to you, will quickly become one of your favorite producers.

Last but not least, if you like what you hear, SPREAD THE WORD! Help Baka get the word out to people who can help this man get to where he truly deserves to be: Lying on a Kushopedic Mattress in a house filled with vinyl and women that he hires as furniture. Butt-Ass naked women.

So take this last snippet of a neck-breaking, speaker-fucking, sonic orgasm, head over to the bandcamp site, and help support a truly talented artist that deserves more than a nod and a handshake.




Last but not least, download the JPEG of the album cover at the top of this post and wheat paste it everywhere. Or just use it as your desktop background. Either way, put it to use and spread the word. Word

this drummer is at the wrong gig

The closest thing to dog food anyone could eat.

Grey Clothing is Coming Soon

Thats the logo for a line of clothing and various other products my Homie No2Pencil is about to bring to the world. He's working to revive the economy and still have some money left over to lay on a table and stare at.

This prototype of the logo sticker is resting above the Honda Logo on his car that goes back in time and also competes in To-the-Death Car Death Matches. It's much akin to the Twisted Metal Franchise on Playstation. But more realistic, like Death Race. The important thing is that Carlos (that's the designs name) now has a home on a car and will be available to you, by way of sticker and T-Shirt form, very soon. Here's a shot of the T-Shirt on the above these words and a shot of the sticker underneath of them. Check out the website. It's under construction, currently, but soon enough it will be ready to bathe you in 1's and 0's so fresh you'll swear they're organic. www.GREYclothing.com

All for a few extra bucks.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/29/us/29spill.html

Vicious, deceitful, and hateful political campaign advertisements during the World Series : The American Dream

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Eddie Pepitone shreds a Heckler to ribbons

now this is how you handle a heckler with true finesse. not just finesse, but almost a hypnotic charm.

Little Known Fact #1

Long before Yao Ming was the name of a famous Basketball player, it was a common greeting amongst Southern Rappers.

White People's Favorite Song

No question, hands down, this is white people's favorite song.

My hotel went all out

Iverson = No Jive Turkey

Allen Iverson to play Basketball in Turkey. As part of his contract, the words, Aint No Jive will be added to the start of the Country's name.

How Cain Velesquez Did the Impossible

When Brock Lesnar and his training coaches decided to move forward with accepting a fight with Cain Velasquez; only months after just barely beating Shane Carwin, it seemed as though no one thought that to be an issue. Immediately, people within the MMA community and fans alike, on auto-pilot, decided that Lesnar once again had it in the bag. Especially since Carwin actually was Lesnar's size and Velasquez is easily 35 pounds lighter than Brock, on a good day. With a new beard and an ever-evolving MMA arsenal, Brock truly did, in my mind have this fight in the bag, based on how he had defeated his previous opponents.

That is until the fight actually started. Even though Brock started well, landing strikes and surprising everyone with a few flying knees and a few of the regular persuasion, he never landed anything of real merit. Here's the thing, too, the entire time the Heavyweight Champ was initiating his defensive campaign, Cain Velasquez was faster, he was cautious in his proximity to the lunch pail sized hands of Lesnar, and he was landing his strikes with more accuracy, winning each striking exchange.

Withing 90 seconds, Lesnar went for his first take down, in which he was successful, but only for a few moments. Cain instantly became the first opponent of Brock's who didn't end up laying on his back, eating elbows and hammer fists. Instead, he forced Brock to stand and throw desperate punches that Cain capitalized on, tagging the Champ a few times for good measure. Mere moments later, Lesnar got another take down that Velasquez was able to recover from, once again forcing Brock to stand and trade, losing each time. This proved to be a key element in Lesnar's undoing.

Here's where I knew the fight would end up as an upset: Velasquez takes LESNAR down. The smaller man took down the All-American Pure-Bread Wrestler. From there, the Champion rolled onto his knees. Strikes were rained down on Brock's head and face that obviously shook him, because the second he got up he did what looked like a running, tumbling dance across the entire Octagon and ended up propping himself up against the cage, just to keep balance.

After that, the challenger smelled blood and went for the kill. He landed a huge knee that put Brock down again and landed more devastating shots from the top position on the ground. To his credit, Brock fought his way back to his feet, once again, however brief it may have been. His faced bathed in his own blood, battered, and disoriented, Lesnar again allowed Cain Velasquez to take him down, curl him up and beat him in the body and face until the referee had to do what no one thought would happen, he called the fight, TKO victory for Cain Velasquez.

Looking back at the fight, I can't think of a single thing that Velasquez did wrong in his approach to finally cracking the code of how to beat Brock Lesnar, outright. He moved around Lesnar quicker than a Shane Carwin or even a Frank Mir could. He was able to get back on his feet when Lesnar got his take downs, making his take down defense look like an unfair glitch in the UFC video game. On top of all of that, his strikes all landed with purpose and with bad intentions. They were accurate and they were punishing. Lesnar simply could not absorb the amount of damage he had to endure. Velasquez has cracked the code the same way Fedor cracked the code on how to beat Mirko Cro Cop. (Or for real MMA nerds, how Marco Ruas finally defeated The Polar Bear Paul Varlens)

Instead of Cro Cop, where if you move forward on him and force him to initiate in close quarters, you beat Lesnar with a mix of cardio, speed, power, and quick take-down recovery time. To paraphrase what Joe Rogan once said on his podcast, there are two schools of thought on what makes a dominant heavyweight: either a huge, 265-275 pound wrestler who can pound out victories that in real life walk around at closer to 300 plus pounds. Or, fighters who are closer to 235-245 at weigh ins, closer to 255-265 on fight night, who are faster and more agile. Saturday night proved that the latter can beat the former.

It will be interesting to see how the division sorts itself out, from here on out. With Junior Dos Santos set to fight Velasquez, my guess, on Super Bowl Saturday this coming February, the logical thing do with Brock would be to have him sign a re-match with Shane Carwin. Whether or not that would determine the number one contender spot for the title would be up to the UFC, but I can't think of too many other UFC heavyweights who are going to get a shot at the Gold anytime soon. Personally, I think Brock should go back and face at the very least, three opponents before getting a shot at the title again. I'd love to see him fight Todd Duffee or Cheik Kongo.

Either way, whether the UFC gives him an instant title re-match or if they make him climb his way back up, one thing is for sure: Gods can bleed and they can also be beaten. You just need the right game plan.

OH THE SCREAMING MAKES ME HORNY!!!

i feel like everyone involved in this should have been slimed at the end like they ended up in some Bizzaro version of You Can't Say That on Television

Potential Twitter Interview with Kyle Cease (? !)

Fans of comedy should by now know the name Kyle Cease. He's had his fair share of Comedy Central love: A Special, another Special, Top Rated Comedian in whatever Comedian list they invented a few years back, etc. etc. He's released a comedy CD: One Dimple and a DVD: Weirder. Blacker. Dimpler. Needless to say, even though I just kinda did, the man has established himself as a time-tested comedian.

As of recent, Kyle, along with Louie Anderson decided to start a company called Stand-up Comedy Boot Camp. It is a program that anyone can sign up for, but obviously, it is implicit in the name that the course would benefit Comedians in particular. It is a program that can run anywhere from 2 to 5 days, depending on what each participant chooses, ending in a graduation ceremony.

Now, here is where this idea and reality have found conflict: After the Comedy Boot Camp website launched, the first promo video they used to attract clientele was, to be kind, over-the-top serious. It was filled with innuendo and suggestions that the class could offer someone personal break-throughs that could change their lives and not so much about how it could make you a better comedian. Once the rest of the comedy community found out about the camp, the site, and then in turn the video, parodies instantly hit the Internet. (Check out Duncan Trussell and Natasha Leggero's parody on their podcast the Lavender Hour). That video was then taken down and a new video was put in its place.

The second video was less over-the-top serious in the same way that Terminator 3 : Rise of the Machines was less violent than T2: Terminator 2. Ever so slightly were the over all tones changed and there were new snippets of footage from the course itself that featured comedians giving students advice. BUT, it also featured a line that asked if the students and/or potential students viewing the video wanted to become million dollar head-liner comedians. All while, a very serious Nine Inch Nails song was playing underneath of the entire thing. Here is the parody video for that one:


Enter, Doug Stanhope. After these videos and promo ads began floating around, Outspoken Comedian and overall speaker of his mind, Doug Stanhope wrote a blog post that EVISCERATED the merits of not only Stand-Up Comedy classes in general, but he took special time out to completely destroy Kyle's Stand Up Comedy Boot Camp. It was not pretty, nor was it anywhere near the word "nice". After that blog post hit, Kyle decided that he was going to speak out against his naysayers.

This is when Kyle goes on Jimmy Dore and Stephanie Zamorano's podcast, Comedy and Everything Else. 3 Kyle Cease interviews, 2 supplemental content episodes, and 1 counter-point interview with guest Matt Besser later and to my mind and to many people's minds within the fandom of comedy, this issue is still not resolved. After that, what started floating around was the idea of a debate or a discussion between the two opposing sides: one being Kyle Cease and his positive viewpoint on the merits of the Boot Camp, and the other being a Comedian or respected figure who would argue against it.

Here's where I come in. Many of the comedians who have spoken out against the Boot Camp have done just that: they have spoken out against it or just plain attacked it or just simply taken a giant shit on it. Given that fact, Kyle does not want to debate other comedians as he feels he has nothing to explain to them. BUT, after a few Twitter exchanges between Kyle and I, I am getting the feeling that he is willing to do a Twitter interview with me. I assume he feels more comfortable doing this with someone like myself because I am at best, a shitty open mic-er and basically just a fan of good comedy.

I would very much like this to happen and the entire interview would take place on Twitter and would also be transcribed and posted here for all you non-twitterers out there. If you would like this to happen, please show your support by contacting Kyle on Twitter @kylecease and let him know that I'm a fair dude and he should totally like, you know, fucking do that shit.

IT'S ALIIIIIIIVE!!

As you, my avid reader(s) can see, this blog has been dead for many a moon. Multiple Solstices have passed and many a leaf has turned colors, fallen, and rejoined the Earth, once again via the process of composting.

But nevermore! To quote the great Shaggy 2 Dope, I'm Back Like Scoliosis, Mother-Fucker.